Isiah02's Rules to Survive
by Isiah02
Summary: Isiah02 and Tom gives you some rules, tips, and tricks on how to live with the Sevilles. Please read and review. Feel free to give out ideas if you want.
1. 1-10

**Isiah: What up? Isiah and Tom here!**

 **Tom: What up?**

 **Isiah: And welcome to Isiah02's Rules to Survive. I've been inspired by a good friend of mine TheTimberWolf09 to do my own set of rules. Go check out his set of rules too because they are funny as heck!**

 **Tom: Shall we get started?**

 **Isiah: Let's get to it. If you guys are planning to stay here in the Seville household with us, here are some rules, tips, and tricks to stay cool.**

* * *

Rule 1: Do not watch Beyond Scared Straight when Theodore is around.

Isiah: He gets too scared that Dave's gonna send us to it.

*Dave is asleep watching Beyond Scared Straight*

*Theodore comes by and sees the TV show and screams hiding under a pillow*

*Alvin comes by and sees the TV show and Theodore hiding*

Alvin: Why are you watching Beyond Scared Straight? Dave, how could you- *sees Dave asleep* Dave?

Theodore: Please don't kill me!

Alvin: *sighs* Dave you're so stupid.

Isiah: See what I mean?

* * *

Rule 2: If you catch Toby rapping, insult him about it.

Tom: What's wrong with Toby rapping, Dave?

Isiah: Yeah, what up with that?

Dave: Just listen and you'll know.

*Toby is in the living room room playing video games*

Toby: YES! ANOTHER MISSION DOWN! FREESTYLE TIME!

 _*with terrible flow* Yo, it's Toby S in the place_

 _You don't wanna stop me with my boys in your face_

 _I'm real OG_

*Brittany comes to the living room*

Brittany: Yo, Toby, your freestyles SUCKS! damn, man!

*Toby sits down and continues his gameplay quietly*

Dave: See what I mean?

Isiah: Wow, you weren't playing.

Simon: He's just terrible at freestyles.

Tom: Agreement here.

* * *

Rule 3: If someone insults you, you have every right to insult them back.

Isiah: Oh. My. God. No matter how you try, these guys will not stop randomly insulting each other.

Tom: And it happens randomly.

Isiah: Right.

*Eleanor is in the kitchen eating cheese balls when Simon walks in seeing her*

Simon: Lay off the junk food fat ass.

Eleanor: Me? Look at you, four eyed bitch!

Isiah/Tom/Alvin: Ooooh, she went there!

Dave: *walks in* Alvin, dude, lay off the AXE Body Spray, it's strong!

Alvin: Sorry, I meant to save it for you because you smell like you have showered in months!

Isiah/Tom: Damn!

* * *

Rule 4: If someone compliments you, you MUST compliment them back.

Dave: This is a house where you take a compliment from someone, give them one back. It's just how we roll.

*Theodore is in his bedroom reading a book when Brittany walks in*

Brittany: Looking adorable as always, Theo.

Theodore: Looking hot as always, Brit.

*Alvin is playing video games when Jeanette walks in*

Jeanette: Love the gameplay going on, Alvin.

Alvin: Hey, thanks, you don't look so bad doing your science experiments yourself.

* * *

Rule 5: If you ever need a ride somewhere in Isiah02's lowrider, give him gas money before you get in.

Dave: I'm constantly out working and Isiah's always here.

*Isiah is in his lowrider when Simon gets in the car*

Simon: Glad I caught you on your way out, 02. Um, I need a lift to the school.

Isiah: Hold up. You got any gas money?

Simon: Um, yeah, here's what I have. *gives Isiah fifty cents*

Isiah: *glares at change* Bro, I'm gonna show you how far this is gonna take us. Check this out.

*Garage door opens and Isiah slowly drives out of it and stops at the front of the driveway*

Isiah: That's how far that's gonna take us.

Simon: Well, maybe you have money on you.

Isiah: I have so little cash on me right now. I'm trying to save some for the lowrider competition tonight. When I win that, then maybe tomorrow I'll drive you, but for now- *opens the passenger seat door and throws Simon out* Good day. *Isiah drives out the driveway and down the road*

Tom: He's making people pay him gas money?! He's constantly winning those lowrider competitions. Those are worth a good $1,000.

Dave: Isiah's lowrider takes really expensive gas.

Tom: Um, wow.

* * *

Rule 6: Isiah02 is the best low rider out of all of us.

Theodore: Considering the fact that we're chipmunks and we can't drive, Isiah still gets in deep competition with Dave.

Simon: But Isiah still comes out on top.

Jeanette: But for some reason, Dave still won't admit it.

Isiah: Maybe he just can't get enough of getting beaten by me.

Simon: Sure, whatever floats your boat.

* * *

Rule 7: Dave's car does not count as a lowrider

Dave: What the hell, man!

Isiah: Okay, listen carefully. Lowriders did not exist when your car was invented. Your car is a classic.

Tom: Despite the fact that you can put hydraulics on any car now these days.

Isiah: True.

* * *

Rule 8: Theodore is not allowed on a phone.

Alvin: Oh my God, what happened was so freaking funny. He actually dialled 911 and we just had to pull a good shot blocking trick on him.

Simon: Yeah, we made him think that the police were actually coming to get him.

Alvin: You all should've saw his face!

Theodore: That wasn't even funny! I almost had a heart attack!

Simon: But I bet you won't get on the phone no more. XD.

* * *

Rule 9: When you hear the song "Between the Sheets" by the Isley Brothers, Shut the hell up!

Tom: These chipmunks would do anything to get their counterparts in bed with them.

Isiah: And also Dave and Samantha. That's our little secret. Don't tell no one that.

Tom: Especially Miles.

Isiah: Actually he's alright with it as long as they played it safety.

Tom: Wait. He is?

Isiah: Yeah.

Tom: Lemme get this straight. Miles is alright with his mother being pounded by the Chipmunks' father's you know what.

Isiah: Yes.

Tom: What kinda crap is that?

Miles: I really don't care about it.

Tom: But dude, that's your mother.

Miles: It's not like they're gonna go at it without protection.

Isiah: Here's a question. Why are we talking about this? All there is too it is when the song rolls through, shut up. Moving on.

* * *

Rule 10: Emily Wants to Play is banned

Isiah: This game sounds like a five year old game, but DO NOT be fooled. This is by far one of the most horror games I've seen in my life. I swear I've never heard Toby scream so loud.

*Toby is playing Emily Wants to Play*

Toby: Emily? Little one? I just wanna play something with you. Where are you?

*Just when he was about to enter the kitchen, he gets a huge jumpscare from Chester(one of Emily's toys) jumping in front of his screen making him scream like a girl and jump from the chair landing on the ground*

Toby: Damn it!

Dave: *walks in the room* Dude, calm down, it's only a game.

Toby: Oh, yeah? Well then you play it then, Dave. Let's see how you react to it.

Dave: I could but I don't play video games.

* * *

 **Isiah: I know there are some people out there doing twenty rules per chapter, but I like to do the amounts short. But I hope you enjoyed them anyway. Expect more rules soon.**

 **Tom: Yep. But until then, please give this story a nice review. No flames as always. If you haven't yet, check out the Huniepop fanfic that was posted called Why You Gotta Be So Negative. As always, we love you guys. Thanks for supporting us everyday. See y'all later. Hollar at your boys! Yeah!**

 **Isiah: Until next time.**

 **Miles: *walks in room* Keep up the good stories, guys.**

 **Isiah: Thanks, man, keep up the good looks.**


	2. 11-20

**Quick Random Moment**

 **"Darriou at a Crash Bandicoot bonus stage***

 **Darriou: *jumps on TNT crate* 3. 2. 1.**

 ***TNT crate explodes killing Darriou***

* * *

 **Isiah: What up? Isiah and Tom here!**

 **Tom: What up?!**

 **Isiah: And welcome back to Isiah02's Rules to Survive! You guys put up a fair deal with the reviews. So we're gonna continue this set of rules. And to top it off, we have our OC's Darrious and Darriou DeWynter with us.**

 **Darriou: What's up, yo!**

 **Darrious: What up!**

 **Tom: Ready to get started?**

 **Isiah: Let's do this!**

* * *

Rule 11: Crash Bandicoot real life is banned.

Darriou: I don't even know where this idea came from. The Chipmunks must be playing too much Crash Bandicoot.

Isiah: Yes. Especially Alvin since he wears red.

*Alvin is in the living room jumping on crates and collecting cheese balls*

*Simon is in front of his path and gets tail slapped by Alvin's tail knocking him on the ground*

Simon: *sigh* Alvin and his video games.

Tom: You should've seen what he tried doing to Jeanette.

Darrious: What'd he do?

Tom: He tried using her as a snowboard to slide down the stairs, and let's just say, I wouldn't wanna be in Alvin's shoes now.

Jeanette: *walks in the room with a ray gun* Where is that Bandicoot acting munk?

Tom: *face palm*

* * *

Rule 12: Alongside with Rule 11, Grand Theft Auto real life is banned.

Isiah: You can play the game, you just can't do real life.

*Dave walks to the front door*

Alvin: Where are you going, Dave?

Dave: To buy us some property. Ian's selling his old mansion and I'm gonna buy it.

2 hours later...

*Dave enters the house a bloody mess*

Darriou: Bro, what happened to you?

Dave: Ian tricked me saying it was a trap. He had a crap load of boys to kill me but I managed to get them all and escape. *sets AK-47 on the table* Don't touch it. I'm going to get some health packs.

*Dave walks up to the wall and bumps into it killing him*(He had low health when he entered the house.)

Dave Seville: Wasted

* * *

Rule 13: When Cooking with Teddy is going on, do not interrupt.

Dave: I gotta say, for a chipmunk, he takes his show very seriously.

*Cooking with Teddy on TV*

Theodore: Hi, everyone! Chef Teddy here. And welcome to Cooking with Teddy. Today we're making-

Eleanor: *behind the camera* Theodore, wait. While we're here on TV, let's reshoot the intro.

Theodore: *sigh* I should just- *knocks camera on the ground* I don't pay you to-

*Signal lost*

Darriou: He's that serious, eh?

Darrious: Yep.

Dave: Uh-huh.

Isiah: For sure.

* * *

Rule 14: Be careful and cautious when roughhousing.

Tom: I tell ya, these guys get into it so much, they don't even know when they're actually hurting each other.

*Jeanette is wrestling with Simon*

*Jeanette grabs Simon's arm and crosses her legs between it, putting him in the armbar*

Simon: AHHH, JEANETTE! PLEASE GET OFF ME!

Jeanette: Tap out!

Simon: Jeanette-

Jeanette: TAP OUT!

Simon: AHH-

Jeanette: RIGHT NOW!

*Simon finally taps out and Jeanette releases her hold on Simon*

Isiah: Looks like someone's gonna be outta action for a couple of weeks.

Dave: I'll be honest, that's nothing compared to what Brittany did to Alvin yesterday.

Darrious: Ooh, for real?

Darriou: What'd she do?

Dave: She put him in the sharpshooter and kept him in it until he started crying.

Isiah: Dang, man!

Dave: Yeah, dang.

* * *

Rule 15: Don't ask what's great about Chuck E. Cheese's.

Isiah: Hold up, why not?

Tom: Yeah, what the heck, Darrious.

Darrious: Darriou gets into how much the pizza sucks.

Darriou: It's true. Chuck E. Cheese has disgusting pizza.

Dave: Bruh! How can you say that, that is literally one of the best pizzas!

Brittany: Chuck E. Cheese pizza...

Brittany/Theodore: ...is the pizza for you and me!

Tom: Huh?

Isiah: The heck?

*Darrious and Darriou glances at Brittany and Theodore*

Alvin: I thought it was the Krusty Krab pizza.

Brittany: How about shut the hell up Alvin!

Theodore: OH MY GOD! THAT'S what it was, you liar! You made me think that was the actual Chuck E. Cheese music.

Brittany: I didn't think you would be that stupid, I'm sorry.

Theodore: But I AM that stupid, you took advantage of that!

* * *

Rule 16: On game night if you hear Samantha moaning through one of the horror games, ignore it.

Isiah: No one knows what's wrong with this chick. Either she hates it or she's attracted to it. We really don't know.

*We all sit down while Dave plays Five Nights at Freddy's*

Dave: Okay, we're doing really good on power than how we did last time so don't worry guys.

Samantha: *moaning* This game. I hate everything about it.

Tom: I hate a lot of things about girls. Including their fake chest areas.

Samantha:*obviously hearing Tom's comment* You know what, Thomas, they're not fake, they're implants. So you better check yourself.

Isiah: Damn.

Alvin: She told you.

Miles: Heard you there.

* * *

Rule 17: If that motherlover James Suggs comes around the house, check him before inviting him in.

Alvin: I cannot trust nor can I stand this motherlover!

Simon: Good call on the rule, Alvin.

Alvin: Thanks, I'm glad you think so.

Theodore: Yeah!

*James Suggs approaches the front door*

Darriou: Yo, check it out, Darrious. It's one of those crooked cops.

James: I'm insulted!

* * *

Rule 18: Anyone else think that Suggs is a crooked cop?

Isiah: Yep.

Tom: For sure.

Alvin: Real great that you thought of that.

Simon: I was thinking more of a Fed.

Theodore: What's a Fed?

Simon: You don't wanna know.

Darriou: He calls himself an air Marshall but all he do is mess around.

Darrious: I wouldn't go that far but oKay.

* * *

Rule 19: When Isiah02 is freaking out over a video game, ignore it.

Tom: He freaks out over the most weirdest things in a game.

*Isiah is playing Amphibious Assault on GTA San Andreas*

Isiah: Okay, okay, let's go. *Sees a turtle swimming towards him and screams* OH MY GOD! Yo, I'm dying!

Jeanette: *Walks in the bedroom* Dude, stop freaking out.

Isiah: I can't! It's the damn game!

*Jeanette sighs and leaves the room*

Isiah: Where'd it go?! Where the turtle go?! I do not like the sea creatures in this game. Oh my- *sighs* I'm 'bout to get off. I'm 'bout to get OFF!

Alvin: Wow what a baby.

Simon: It's only a game. Plus how can a turtle kill you?

Tom: He's just scared of them when they come outta nowhere.

* * *

Rule 20: If you see Zoe around the house, approach her.

Dave: She's always coming by with somes gifts for us.

Tom: She's being very nice since the island incident that took- *sees Zoe's car outside the driveway* Hold that thought!

*Tom, Isiah, Darrious, and Darriou run out the front door*

Zoe: What's up, boys?!

Isiah: What's good?!

Zoe: You'll love what I have today. Just let me get in the house.

Dave: *mumbles* Freeloading motherlovers.

* * *

 **Isiah: Alright, guys, there goes another 10 rules for ya. Expect Adventure in the Kingdom: The Last Stand to be updated soon. We hope you've enjoyed this chapter.**

 **Tom: If you've enjoyed it, be sure to give it a nice review. No flames as always. Again, we wanna thank the DeWynter brothers for being guest appearances. As always, we love you guys deeply. Thank you for supporting us everyday. See y'all later. Hollar at your boys! Yeah!**

 **Isiah: Until next time.**

* * *

 **Later...**

 ***Isiah is playing Amphibious Assault for GTA San Andreas part 2***

 **Isiah: I can't play this anymore. I need to get off. *sees jellyfish and screams pausing the game* Oh my God, I can't play this game no more, dude, I'm about to get off.**


	3. 21-30

**Isiah: What up? Isiah and Tom here!**

 **Tom: What up?**

 **Isiah: And welcome back to Isiah02's Rules to Survive. You guys are loving these sets of rules, so we gotta give you another ten. These ones are gonna be really funny. So get ready.**

 **Tom: And also be aware to those that seen TimberWolf09's set of rules, the ones that were my ideas in chapter 2 will be introduced here. And they'll be adjusted a little bit too.**

 **Isiah: Read on.**

* * *

Rule 21: If you challenge Isiah02 to a lowrider competition, either bet something worth it or the bet's off.

Isiah: As long as it's worth it, I don't care.

Toby: How about 50 cents?

Isiah: No dude.

Toby: But that's all I have!

Isiah: Then I'm afraid the challenge is unaccepted.

Toby: Please?

Isiah: I said no!

Toby: *walks away and mumbles* Cheap motherlover.

* * *

Rule 22: Alongside with rule 21, if you bet a pink slip or your girlfriend, you better hope you don't lose.

Simon: Pink slip, 02?

Isiah: It means betting your own car.

Simon: Oh, okay.

Eleanor: Didn't you bet your lowrider against a couple of people in a competition?

Isiah: Yeah. Toby bet his SUV, Ian bet his Lamborghini, and Dave bet his girlfriend Samantha. After all that, let's just say, I doubt those boys will try anything that crazy again.

Samantha: *walks into office* Isiah, honey, when are you coming to bed?

Isiah: I'll be there in a moment, sweetheart. I still gotta finish this set of rules.

Samantha: Don't keep me waiting, okay? *walks back into the bedroom*

Tom: Lucky.

Isiah: Dude, I gave you the SVU and the Lamborghini.

* * *

Rule 23: Literal conversations are banned in the Seville house.

Tom: This rule gets way too outta hand.

Isiah: Agreement here.

Dave: Here too.

*Simon comes in the house and see Jeanette*

Simon: Damn, Jeanette! You stay on the computer!

*Jeanette's literally laying on top of the computer*

Jeanette: It's a problem.

*Alvin and Brittany arguing*

Alvin: Look, Brit, for the last time, we are not going to Ruby Tuesdays on a Wednesday. We're going to Chick-fil-A.

Brittany: I don't care what day it is. We're going to Ruby Tuesdays.

Alvin: Brit, so help me if you say Ruby Tuesdays one more time, I told you we're going to Chick-fil-A!

Brittany: Ruby Tuesdays. Ruby Tuesdays. Ruby Tuesdays. We're going.

Alvin: Okay fine, we'll go to Ruby Tuesdays, you don't gotta twist my arm.

Brittany: *behind Alvin* Too tight?

Alvin: *untwists his arm* Yeah, girl, what the hell!

Dave: Wow.

Isiah: Yeah, moving on.

* * *

Rule 24: Being cool is somehow not allowed.

Alvin: Who in the hell made this rule?

Dave: I did.

Alvin: Why?

Dave: Just look and you'll know.

*Isiah and Tom approaches each other in baggy clothing*

Isiah: Yo. What's up?

Tom: What's happening, homeboy.

Isiah: I recently ran into an Air Marshall thinking he was the top dog outta everybody.

Tom: You beat his ass?

Isiah: Hell yeah.

Tom: That's what good.

Isiah: The weather here's alright, don't you think?

Tom: As good as any.

Isiah: See you around, bro.

Tom: Alright then, homie.

*Alvin's eyes are lifted in shock*

Dave: See? Reminds you of that Not Normal episode of Spongebob Squarepants.

Alvin: I'm gonna have nightmares tonight for sure.

* * *

Rule 25: Pretty in Pink by the Psychedelic Furs is banned from the Seville house.

Isiah: This one is somewhat explainable but we're explaining anyway. Brittany's always having Alvin sing this song to her. Don't get me wrong, I like the song. It shows how much a real woman is pretty in pink.

Brittany: And I'm not a real woman?

Isiah: I didn't say that. You're obsessed with pink.

Brittany: But that still makes me a real woman!

Alvin: Well...

Brittany: *glares at Alvin* Is this something you wanna talk about with the rest of us?

Alvin: Nothing.

Brittany: That's what I thought. Now sing!

Alvin: Alright.

Isiah: While they're doing that, we are gonna move on.

* * *

Rule 26: Simon is not allowed to play Geometry Dash.

Alvin: And people say I'm into video games too much, take a look at Simon.

*Simon is playing Theory of Everything on Geometry Dash*

Simon: Yes, I'm almost there! *dies at 94%* NOOOOOOO!

Alvin: Yeah. XD.

* * *

Rule 27: Don't mess around with the bed sheets too much or you might be mistaken for a ghost.

Tom: I think I can explain this one. One of our good friends BlueWolfBat recently came by and saw poor Theodore running around being chased by Jeanette in a bed sheet she tripped on. Then next thing we know, Dave's getting scolded by WolfBat for it.

Isiah: And thus this rule was born.

Alvin: I don't even though who to feel bad for more. Theodore or Jeanette.

Tom: Considering the fact that Theodore broke his ankle from falling down the stairs, I gotta feel bad for Theo.

*Theodore limps around in crutches*

Tom: Poor little dude.

Isiah: Yeah.

* * *

Rule 28: Lowriders are highly recommended in house parties.

Isiah: Who came up with this?

Alvin: Don't look at me.

Tom: You told me not to use that word without your permission.

Isiah: No I didn't.

Tom: You didn't? Oh.

Isiah: Considering the fact that this is nice, I don't trust it. I think either Dave, Ian, or Toby is behind this. So just to be safe...

* * *

Rule 29: Toby, Dave, or Ian can no longer challenge Isiah02 to a Lowrider competition.

Isiah: That should keep me from walking into any tricks.

*a certain someone walks in the front door*

?: Others trick. I troll.

Isiah: Miles.

Miles: What's up man!

Isiah: Just finishing these rules. You?

Miles: Check this out man. I just got a new lowrider. Thinking maybe we could do some racing around LA.

Isiah: I like where this is going. When and where?

Miles: South Central tomorrow at noon.

Isiah: Oh, for sure.

* * *

Rule 30: Twerking is straight up banned.

Isiah: Especially around Alvin.

*Brittany is in her bedroom twerking when Alvin walks in on her*

Alvin: Oh you wanna twerk your ass on Facebook, huh.

Brittany: Alvin-

Alvin: *pulls out electric cord* You wanna twerk?

Brittany: When you get here?

Alvin: Twerking your ass on Facebook?

Brittany: It's not what you think!

Alvin: Turn around.

Brittany: No!

*Alvin begins his beating with the electric cord*

Brittany: *screams and cries* ALVIN, STOP!

*Brittany tries to grab the cord but fails and gets pushed away*

Brittany: I PROMISE I WON'T DO IT AGAIN!

Alvin: Turn your butt around, I'll give you something to twerk about!

Brittany: I'ma tell Dave on you, Alvin!

Alvin: I don't give a damn what you do. You my woman and the only time you twerk is around me! *continues beating on Brittany*

*Brittany manages to grab the cord from Alvin*

Alvin: Oh, you don't want the cord? You want me to use my fists?!

*Alvin snatches cord from Brittany and continues beating her*

Alvin: Don't ever let me catch you twerking again! *leaves the room*

* * *

 **Tom: That last one was kinda outta line, don't you think?**

 **Isiah: She shouldn't had been twerking.**

 **Samantha: *walks into the room wrapping her arms around Isiah's neck* Isiah, honey, you know I hate it when you keep me waiting.**

 **Isiah: Alright, hun. Everyone, before we close this chapter, I got something to say. You all know my story Adventure in the Kingdom, right? Well, I decided to come up with an introduction before the actual story. Like where it all began. So look out for that.**

 **Tom: Don't forget to leave this story a nice review. No flames as always. These sets of rules are being funnier and funnier. As always, we love you guys. Thanks for supporting us everyday. See y'all later. Hollar at your boys! Yeah!**

 **Isiah: Until next time. And now I'm off to do something with my new chick.**


	4. 31-40

**Quick Random Moment**

 ***A mixed up random moment***

 **Simon: I love my new mansion.**

 **Alvin: Simon, that's not a mansion, you're in somebody's castle!**

 ***Simon finds himself in Enchantia Castle***

 **King Roland II: Um, who the heck are you?**

* * *

 **Isiah: What up?! Isiah and Tom here!**

 **Tom: What's good!**

 **Isiah: And welcome back to Isiah02's Rules to Survive! Today Tom and I decided to give you guys ten more rules and laugh about them.**

 **Tom: So we hope you're okay with that. Shall we get started?**

 **Isiah: Let's shall, my boy.**

* * *

Rule 31: Simon cannot make anyone pay to do something in the house.

Tom: Okay. I don't even know where he got this kinda crap from, but this dude has got to stop.

*Simon is playing an arcade game when Alvin jumps on the game*

Alvin: Need someone to play with?

Simon: Yeah, sure. Just put in the quarter.

Alvin: Wait. I gotta pay for this?

Simon: Yeah, this country isn't as free as people say it is.

Alvin: Alright, I guess.

*Alvin puts in a quarter when Simon stops him*

Simon: Not so fast big brother. 50 cents.

Alvin: What?!

Simon: Hahaha! G unit, baby!

Alvin: *sigh* Fine.

*Jeanette is leaving the bathroom when Simon runs into her*

Simon: Hey, Jeanette.

Jeanette: Huh? Oh, hi Simon. What's up?

Simon: Why were you in the bathroom for so long?

Jeanette: The sink didn't turn on when I wanted to wash my paws.

Simon: No crud, I told Dave to turn it off for the day.

Jeanette: What?! So how am I supposed to wash my paws?

Simon: $1.

Jeanette: I'm not paying a dollar to wash my paws, you're outta your mind.

30 seconds later...

*Jeanette is washing her paws with a bottle of water*

Jeanette: Dave did not agree to this.

Simon: The struggle is real, Jean. The struggle is real.

Isiah: *sigh* Remind me how is Simon the smart one in the group.

* * *

Rule 32: Alongside with Rule 3, when you insult someone back, make sure you don't go overboard.

Tom: We mentioned how far these guys go with their insults right?

Isiah: I'm pretty sure we did.

Tom: Okay.

*Simon is doing a science experiment when Alvin sees him*

Simon: Well if it isn't the munk who can't pass a class for crap.

Alvin: At least I'm not a bitch who apart from Dave has a geek way with ladies.

Simon: This mother- Dave! He said I had a geek way with- Alvin called me a bitch!

Isiah: XD.

* * *

Rule 33: Saying the N word like Lamar Davis is straight up banned.

Tom: I swear to God, Alvin will not stop quoting it.

*Simon is doing a science experiment when Alvin walks in his lab*(N word warning ahead)

Alvin: What's up, can a brother help you out?

Simon: Man, screw you, go somewhere.

Alvin: Aw, don't hate me cause I'm beautiful, bro. Maybe if you got rid of that nappy ass haircut, you'd get some girls on your back. Or better yet, maybe Jeanette can be with your dog ass if she ever stops messing with that brain surgeon or lawyer she's messing with. (as Lamar Davis) N*gga.

Simon: *watching Alvin leave* What?

* * *

Rule 34: The N word is banned. Period.

Isiah: Yeah, we thought the Lamar Davis version wasn't enough so we thought that banning it altogether would be better. To keep from having people see the Lamar Davis version. Personally I don't mind it. I may be African American but I really don't mind.

Tom: As long as you don't use it offensively.

Isiah: Right.

* * *

Rule 35: Alvin can only scare people only for emergencies.

Alvin: What in the hell kinda emergency is gonna be important for me to scare people?

Dave: That James Suggs moron keeps sneaking his way in the house stealing our stuff. Now I'm going to trust that you'll use this rule only for house defense and not for fun.

Alvin: Alright, sure.

Dave: No, you gotta swear on Solaris itself.

Alvin: Um, what?

Isiah: Raise your right paw.

*Alvin raises his paw*

Isiah: Do you, Alvin Seville swear on Solaris and its members to scare people only for house defense and not for fun time, or you will suffer the wrath of the Flames of Disaster.

Tom: Um, bro-

Alvin: What the-

Isiah/Dave: Yes or no?!

Alvin: Alright yes!

Isiah: Okay, good.

* * *

Rule 36: Don't ever give love lessons to Theodore.

Alvin: I swear I've never seen him so nervous in my life.

*Brittany and Theodore are having a conversation*

Brittany: Now why do you think Eleanor doesn't have feelings for you?

Theodore: I don't know, Brit. I haven't been with too many female chipmunks in my life. My crotch area...people laugh when they hear about it.

Brittany: Hmm. You're fine.

Theodore: *nervously* What?

Brittany: Don't think that Eleanor won't have feelings for you because of your crotch area. Just tell her how you feel and she'll most likely accept it.

Theodore: I...don't know.

*Brittany sighs and pulls down her skirt revealing her treasure*

Theodore: *real nervously* Oh God.

Brittany: See? Nothing special under here. Just nice clean fur.

*Isiah, Tom, Alvin, and Dave pull a face palm*

Theodore: That's... That's not what I mean. That's not...- Can you please put your womanhood away?

Isiah: *sighs* Moving on.

* * *

Rule 37: All real life Grand Theft Auto cheat codes are banned from the house.

Dave: Isiah.

Isiah: Yeah?

Dave: You agree that I had to do this, right?

Isiah: Yeah.

Dave: Okay.

*police sirens go off from outside*

Tom: Oh, crap, who called the police?!

Simon: Wasn't me.

Theodore: A better question would be who did something that would have gotten their attention.

*one look at each other*

Isiah/Tom/Dave/Simon/Theodore: Alvin!

Tom: Of course he would.

Alvin: *steps in the living room* Which one of you snitched?

Isiah: What?

Alvin: Don't play dumb with me! Which one of you motherlovers done snitched.

Simon: Who do you think?

*Alvin types in numbers on his phone giving him a set of weapons*

Alvin: If I find out one of you snitched, I'm putting one in your head. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get the police off my back.

*Alvin types in more numbers on his phone making the police go away*

Isiah: How in the hell does he do this?

Dave: I don't know, but this rule's gonna not make it matter. XD.

* * *

Rule 38: Don't ever criticize Simon about his sarcasm.

Eleanor: I swear I never knew someone who would rage on someone about their own sarcasm.

Isiah: I have a side with you there Ellie. I have a side with you there.

*Alvin, Simon, and Theodore having a conversation*

Theodore: You guys should've been there when my class were having a cooking lesson.

Simon: *with harsh sarcasm* I wish we could've been there.

Alvin: What's with all the sarcasm from you today?

Simon: *turns to Alvin* What's with my sarcasm? I'll tell you what's with all my sarcasm. One minute I'm putting in work with school. Next thing I know, I'm stranded on an island due to your antics. We, our band, were doing real good until the Chipettes took over the stage. But hey, let's try and stop our father who we thought was gonna propose to someone but wasn't really going to! Forgive me, you hardheaded ass! But sarcasm is ALL I fucking got! Sarcasm, and a set of rules written by two jackasses!

Isiah: And that day, I swore to myself that I would never in my life give Simon a ride anywhere in my lowrider. (See chapter 1 for info.)

Tom: You're telling me, I almost put my size 12 foot up his little furry butt.

* * *

Rule 39: Don't bully Samantha about her hatred for hipsters.

Tom: Oh my God. Real talk, I have...- You know what, Miles you explain.

Miles: Alright I guess. My mother really hates hipsters. And she'll go off on you if you bully her about it long enough.

Alvin: Poor Dave learned the hard way.

Miles: Right.

*Dave and Samantha are on the open road(a fictional happening during AATC: The Road Chip)*

Dave: You know, I've been thinking a lot about you, Samantha. Your lifestyle. Then there's the job as a nurse, the beautiful hair, the firm chest area, the...everything.

Samantha: What are you talking about?

Dave: You, my love...have a thing with hipsters.

Samantha: What did you say?

Dave: You have a thing with hipsters.

Samantha: I hate hipsters.

Dave: Classic hipster denial.

Samantha: *glares at Dave* Say it one more time.

*While concentrating on the road, Dave leans closer to Samantha*

Dave: *right to Samantha's ear* Hipster.

*Samantha makes Dave switch the gear to park*

Samantha: You. Are not very. FUCKING nice.

Miles: That day was one of the worse brutal days. I never knew how brutal she can get when she's being messed with. Heck, if I knew this earlier, I would've been too scared to leave the house when they left for Miami.

* * *

Rule 40: Prepare for something crazy when Isiah and Tom see a wrecked car in the streets.

*Isiah, Tom, and Dave are in Isiah's lowrider at the gas station*

*Isiah sees a wrecked car driving down the road*

Isiah: Tom. Look.

Tom: Uh-oh.

Isiah/Tom: If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home! Your car ain't worth no money, take that broke crap home!

Dave: *sighs*

* * *

 **Isiah: Yo, this is by far the longest chapter in this story. Good thing I'm doing ten at a time. Right, Tom?**

 **Tom: Yeah. Don't forget to leave a nice review for this chapter. No flames as always. We hope you enjoyed this chapter. Check out chapter four of Adventure in the Kingdom: The Last Stand if you haven't. As always we love you guys. Thanks for supporting us everyday. See y'all later. Hollar at your boys! Yeah!**

 **Isiah: Until next time.**


	5. 41-50

**Isiah: What up? Isiah and Tom here!**

 **Tom: What up?!**

 **Isiah: And welcome back to Isiah02's Rules to Survive. Now in this chapter, we're in the beautiful kingdom of Soleanna. So this set of rules are gonna be Adventure in the Kingdom related.**

 **Tom: And we have the good old DeWynter bros with us too.**

 **Darriou: Hey!**

 **Darrious: What's good!**

 **Isiah: Let's do this!**

* * *

Rule 41: Don't ever make Brittany tell you to stop bothering her more than twice.

Tom: Trust me when I say this. Princess Brittany really hates it when she tells someone to stop bothering her more than twice. Poor Alvin learned that the hard way.

*Brittany is looking over a treaty when Alvin comes into her royal office and rubs the back of her ear*

Brittany: C'mon, honey, knock it off.

Alvin: What?

*Alvin makes his way down to her tail and begins to twirl it*

Brittany: *glaring at Alvin* I'm gonna rip your damn gut out if you don't knock it off, hun!

*Alvin then begins a trail of kisses down her neck but gets stabbed in the stomach with her pencil making him groan and fall to the floor*

Brittany: I told you to knock it off!

Claire: Personally I think that was one of the most worst days. Even if it was an accident.

Brittany: I know. I did tell him to stop though.

* * *

Rule 42: When a war breaks out, watch out for Dave

Alvin: That man may be one of the most dangerous guys I've ever hung with. Like last week he killed a crooked cop for getting into his office files at the warehouse.

Dave: That's me, man. Now come her, lemme give you a hug.

*Alvin goes to hug Dave but gets kicked in the stomach by Dave*

Dave: Don't you ever tell these people things that they already know!

Alvin: Sorry Dave.

* * *

Rule 43: When Simon is underwater for too long, the Sonic the Hedgehog drowning theme in highly required.

Dave: Let's just say, this guy doesn't know when he's drowning for some reason.

*Simon at the beach in the water*

Simon: Okay. I just gotta find the dark emerald.

Thirty seconds later...

*Sonic the Hedgehog drowning theme goes off*

Dave: Countdown. 5.

Simon: No. Not the countdown!

Darrious: 4.

Simon: *swimming for his life* Anything but the countdown!

Isiah: 3.

Simon: No, please, Solaris!

Darriou: 2.

Simon: Dave! Why aren't you helping me?!

Tom: 1.

Simon: DAVE!

Dave/Darrious/Darriou/Isiah/Tom: 0.

*Simon drowns*

Isiah: I wonder how Simon got out despite the fact that he drowned.

Dave: There was a coastguard out at sea who saw the whole thing and got him out.

Simon: *shivering* I...I hate you Dave.

Dave: Dude, what could I do? I'm a lunatic.

Simon: Maybe not stand there like a little bitch and let the chipmunk agent drown and get raped up the tailhole!

Dave: Hmm.

* * *

Rule 44: The drowning theme is only for drowning situations.

Brittany: Okay. I kept asking everyone to stop using the drowning theme for other situations. It's called drowning theme for a reason!

Alvin: But Brit, who else used the drowning theme?

Brittany: Isiah and Tom!

Isiah: Um, what?

Tom: What'd we do?

Brittany: You two used the Sonic the Hedgehog drowning theme for when Simone was going to be killed.

Tom: Oh. Yeah, I feel guilty about it.

Isiah: Why?

Tom: Because that moment felt like it was happening to me. And well..you know...crap.

Isiah: Oh. You ain't about to throw up, aren't you?

Tom: Not yet.

* * *

Rule 45: Brittany + Anger = Trevor Phillips.

Isiah: I gotta tell ya, this princess is loco when peeved off.

*Alvin and Brittany are watching TV when Simon walks in*

Simon: Hey, Princess. You got my information you promised?

*Brittany gets up and walks past Simon*

Simon: Hey! Spoiled brat!

Alvin: I'm not gonna do anything. I'm gonna just watch.

Simon: I'm talking to you, spoiled one.

Brittany: Are you? What are you saying?

Simon: You promised me you'd get information on the competing agency three weeks ago. I haven't gotten a word of info from you.

Brittany: Oh, I'm sorry. I do have the information for you. Just follow me.

*Brittany leads Simon to her dining room and slams his face onto the table multiple times*

Brittany: FUCKING SHIT! How dare you come into my castle and give me orders?! I'm the Princess and I give the orders! NOT YOU!

Alvin: Yeah, I wonder why she didn't do that when Zoe or Jeanette was messing with her.

Darriou: No one knows.

Dave: You're just lucky she didn't do that to you and you're brother.

* * *

Rule 46: If you really wanna be known for stupidly, smoke a cigarette in the castle.

Darriou: My stupid big brother Darrious had to learn that the hard way.

*Darrious is in the castle smoking when Dave walks in seeing him*

Dave: Don't you know that stuff kills you?

Darrious: Yeah, I don't care.

*Brittany walks in, takes the cigarette from Darrious and slaps him*

Brittany: Cigarette. No.

*Alvin and Simon share a laugh*

Alvin: He felt so embarrassed.

Simon: I know, right.

* * *

Rule 47: Darriou cannot use his blade hat for cutting food.

Darriou: Why?

Brittany: Darriou honey, you can't use your blade hat for ingredients. Your hat is a projectile.

Darriou: Can I at least cut wood with it?

Brittany: Ugh, fine.

Darriou: Hell yeah!

* * *

Rule 48: If you see Zoe or her goons around the castle, scare her off.

Isiah: Despite the events that happened with the kidnapping of the Princess, Zoe can be scared easily.

*Zoe is sneaking in the castle only to see a toy in a suit running at her scaring her and she falls out the window*

Tom: Bullseye, boy!

* * *

Rule 49: Brittany cannot have a human as a kill puppet.

Alvin: I swear Dave almost made a roasted chipmunk with Brittany after learning that he was being used.

Isiah: I gotta side with you too, bro. I bave never seen Dave so pissed before.

*Dave is driving his car in a veey pissed manner*

Isiah: Yeah, moving on.

* * *

Rule 50: Don't ever buy hardware from Darrious and Darriou.

Simon: They will only sell to me and the agency that I'm in.

Dave: And me.

Simon: No, Dave.

Alvin: Me?

Simon: Absolutely not Alvin.

Alvin: Why?

Simon: The last time, you bought a tank to destroy death threats to the kingdom.

Alvin: Brittany told me to. And plus They were involved with Zoe's military.

Simon: *sigh* Let's just stop. I don't wanna get into anymore of this topic.

* * *

 **Isiah: Couldn't had called it at a better time, Simon. Everyone we hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you haven't yet, check out the last update of The Last Stand. And expect it to be updated soon.**

 **Tom: Please do not forget to leave a nice review for this chapter. No flames as always. As always we love you guys. Thanks dor supporting us everyday. See y'all later. Holla at your boys! Yeah.**

 **Isiah: Until next time.**


	6. 51-60

**Isiah: What up? Isiah and Tom here!**

 **Tom: What up?**

 **Isiah: And welcome back to Isiah02's Rules to Survive! Now in this set of rules, I'm gonna be adding a special guest. He hasn't made much Alvin and the Chipmunks fanfics but enough to get my attention. ShadowGate.**

 **ShadowGate: Hey guys.**

 **Isiah: What's up man, you ready for this?**

 **ShadowGate: I'm always ready, 02. Always ready.**

 **Tom: Let's get started.**

 **Isiah: Ready when you guys are.**

* * *

Rule 51: Smashing a gaming console is not a punishment.

Tom: I swear I've never seen Toby so sad smashing his Xbox One.

ShadowGate: I remember it like it was yesterday. Why did he do that anyway?

Tom: He's been living with us for months and not once did he pay Dave his rent.

ShadowGate: Wait. Not a dime came outta him?

Tom: Not even a penny.

ShadowGate: How sad.

Tom: I know.

*Dave and Toby are outside the front yard*

Dave: C'mon man.

Toby: It's not my fault.

Dave: Let's go.

Toby: Please Dave.

Dave: You had all this time to pay rent.

Toby: It's not my fault.

Dave: NOW!

*Being the stubborn motherlover he is, Toby picks up a sledgehammer and smashes his Xbox*

Dave: It's hard isn't it? I tried telling you that this wasn't a joke. If your ass wasn't so busy playing on your damn game all day, you wouldn't be doing this.

Isiah: Poor dude. Although he was warned.

ShadowGate: Toby probably owes Dave a lot of money too.

Tom: Most likely.

* * *

Rule 52: If Simon wants to watch TV, let him.

Isiah: I tell ya this munk will do anything to watch the Science Channel.

*Theodore is hiding under a pillow while Beyond Scared Straight is on when Simon comes into the room and changes the channel*

Simon: The imates are gone, Theodore. You can come out from under the pillow.

Theodore: Are you sure?

Simon: Yes.

*Brittany is watching American Idol*

Brittany: Oh my God, you guys are so lame.

Simon: *walks in* Out.

Brittany: No. I'm watching American Idol.

Simon: Tough fucking luck.

*Simon takes the TV remote from Brittany and changes the channel making Brittany scream and leave the room*

* * *

Rule 53: Alongside with Rule 26, if you hear Jeanette freestyle to any Geometry Dash music, ignore it.

ShadowGate: Hold up. Why we gotta ignore Jeanette's freestyles, Isiah?

Isiah: Alright, I'll be honest. Two things. One, don't seriously ignore it, just listen to it. And two, when the music goes off, she kills it with a freestyle until she stops at a certain point.

ShadowGate: What?

Tom: Let me show you.

*Tom plays Unity by TheFatRat on the radio*

Tom: In 3 2 1.

Jeanette: *barges in* WHAAAT!

Isiah: Here we go.

Jeanette: Oh yeah!

Tom: Get ready for something funny.

Jeanette: Uh, yeah. Uh uh. Chipettes movie coming soon! 2022! Here we go y'all!

*music beat drops*

 _Jeanette: Yo, what's good, Jeanette_

 _I don't really know but I'm doing my best_

 _That's what I'm doing, yo I'm just saying_

 _Nah, matter of fact, motherloving Super Saiyan_

 _Dragon Ball Z, watch that movie_

 _That's where I'll be, X to the D_

 _Thank y'all for reading this skit here_

 _I don't give a crap as long as I don't disappear_

 _But look..._

 _But look..._

 _But look..._

ShadowGate: Damn, she was killing it too!

Isiah: Yep. Too bad she stopped.

* * *

Rule 54: Saying "Or Nah" is banned.

Dave: Everyone in this freaking house still quotes it.

*Samantha and Miles arguing*

Samantha: All I asked you to do was take out the garbage.

Miles: You mad or nah?

Samantha: That's all I asked.

Miles: You mad or nah?

Samantha: Don't ask me! Don't ask me that!

*Brittany talking to herself*

Brittany: Girl, are you partying tonight or nah? *answering herself* BITCH SHUT THE HELL UP! You say or nah one more time, I'm gonna or nah my foot up your ass, bitch!

ShadowGate: I knew this would be insanity but Jesus.

* * *

Rule 55: Alongside with the insulting rule, when you're insulted, don't get outta control and fight that person.

Dave: Can we please make a rule where insulting each other is banned?

Isiah/Tom/ShadowGate: No!

Dave: Damn!

*Simon is reading a book when Eleanor walks by him*

Eleanor: I hate male nerds.

Simon: I'm pretty sure male nerds hate fat people like you too.

*Feeling angered, Eleanor rushes to Simon and kicks him in the crotch, then in the stomach a few times, and ending it with a punch to his face breaking his glasses*

Isiah/Tom/ShadowGate: DAMN!

Tom: Guess she got really pissed off when Simon called her fat.

ShadowGate: Of course. How do you explain...- No, you wrote that in a different universe.

Isiah: What?

ShadowGate: That Buzzkill fanfic you made a while back would explain how Eleanor hates to be called fat.

Tom: Oh, for sure.

* * *

Rule 56: SMACK CAM!

ShadowGate: What's a smack cam?

Isiah: It's a vine where you smack someone in the face.

ShadowGate: Oh. Sounds fun.

Isiah: Trust me. It is.

*Alvin is playing a video game when the power gets cut off*

Alvin: What the hell?

*Alvin turns around only to see Simon's lotion covered paw swings at his face, slapping him making him land on his back*

Simon: That's what you get bitch!

Alvin: Simon, I swear to God!

Isiah: Now you get it?

ShadowGate: Oh I get it now.

Tom: *walks in* Hey, Shadow.

ShadowGate: What up?

*Tom slaps Shadow with a handful of shaving cream*

Tom: *runs away* Ooooh!

ShadowGate: Oh hell no! *chases Tom*

Isiah: Damn!

* * *

Rule 57: The next example does not count as a Smack Cam.

*Isiah is going on a date with Samantha*

Samantha: I'm having a wonderful time 02.

Isiah: Yeah. I am too.

Samantha: What do you say we head back to your bedroom and we can continue this romance?

Isiah: Sure. I would love to.

*Just when Samantha gets back the car, Isiah quickly gets behind her and smacks her butt*

Isiah: *Runs away* Smack Cam!

Samantha: *Chases after Isiah* No you don't!

Tom: Damn, those motherlovers were running!

ShadowGate: For sure, but hey, she'll most likely get payback.

* * *

Rule 58: For crap sake, stop calling Miles "Tails".

Isiah: I think this rule is kinda pointless.

Miles: Are you crazy? You know how many people call me Tails? That's a freaking Sonic character.

Isiah: But you look nothing like him. You don't even have the look to be called Tails.

Tom: But you do have Tails' real name.

Isiah: Tom!

ShadowGate: He's got a good point.

Isiah: Shadow!

Samantha: *walks in* Hey there Tails.

Isiah: Sam!

Toby: *drives by the house* I wonder if Tails is around.

Isiah: TOBY! OH MY GOD, NEXT RULE!

* * *

59: If Dark Horse by Katy Perry plays during a lowrider competition, expect Isiah to win.

Isiah: Okay. You guys remember rule 22, right? The one where I explain that Ian, Toby, and Dave bet their cars and Dave's girlfriend. Well ex now, but anyway, this rule should've came earlier because that's how they lost their stuff. I've studied this song many times, and now I'm like the master of this song. So yeah. My fault.

* * *

Rule 60: The what would you do situation is for certain emergencies.

ShadowGate: Tell us something Isiah. Do I even wanna know what a what would you do situation is?

Alvin: Or what you've been doing since your last update?

Simon: Or how the hell you come up with this kinda stuff?

Theodore: It's really creative.

Isiah: Yeah it is. Anyway a what would you do situation is a moment where something comes up and you have four choices in your mind on how to react to it.

*Simon is reading a book while Alvin and Theodore are doing homework*

Alvin: Yo, Simon. Can you help me with a question?

Theodore: Simon, I need help with this question.

*Simon looks at both chipmunks having four choices in his mind*

A. Help Alvin.

B. Help Theodore.

C. Help both, they're nowhere near smarter than you.

D. Help neither, they know what they're doing.

Simon: Aww, nuts.

* * *

 **Isiah: Alright, another chapter down!**

 **ShadowGate: For sure!**

 **Isiah: Everyone we hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Again, I wanna thank ShadowGate for being a guest host for us. Check out the last update to Shot Blocking if you haven't. It's been a heck of a while, I know.**

 **Tom: Don't forget to leave a nice review. No flames as always. We hope you're enjoying the story. Expect Adventure in the Kingdom The Last Stand to be updated soon. As always we love you guys. Thanks for supporting us everyday. See y'all later. Holla at your boys! Yeah!**

 **Isiah: Until next time.**


	7. 61-70

**Isiah: What up? Isiah and Tom here!**

 **Tom: What up?**

 **Isiah: And welcome back to Isiah02's Rules to Survive! Now last chapter Tom and I had the homie ShadowGate as a guest, so in this set of rules we have another special guest. PhotonDragon16.**

 **Photon: Hi, guys.**

 **Tom: What up, Photon?**

 **Photon: Nothing much. I heard about the opportunity of being a guest on these sets of rules and thought I'd take it.**

 **Tom: Well prepare for some craziness...when Isiah takes a break from Samantha.**

 **Isiah: Ah, screw you.**

 **Photon: Let's begin!**

* * *

Rule 61: If you really wanna get your ass kicked, mess with Alvin's radio.

Isiah: Alright, Photon. Why don't you tell them why since you came up with this idea.

Photon: Gladly. Alvin loves his music and will go off on you if you mess with it.

*Simon is reading a book when he hears Alvin's radio*

Simon: Alvin, turn that crap down!

Alvin: Screw you!

Simon: I swear to God, Alvin!

*Simon gets up and picks up Alvin's radio and throws it on the floor breaking it, and just whenhe leaves the room, he gets junped on by Alvin*

Tom: Yeah...

* * *

Rule 62: When something's going on, Simon turns to 007.

Jeanette: He's so heroic.

Dave: I'll admit, he's cool for a guy who stole my, Isiah, and Tom's phones and turned them into gadgets.

Isiah: That would explain why he now owes us new phones.

Simon: *swings into the room with one of the phones he took* Jeanette, my Q-Claw needs an upgrade..

Jeanette: Anything for you, Agent.

*Simon and Jeanette goes into another room*

Photon: Q-Claw?

Tom: Don't ask. Just let him go with it.

Miles: *walks in* Isiah, what happened your Nintendo 3DS?

Isiah: What?

*Simon flies around the room with Isiah's 3DS turned into a jetpack*

Isiah: Guys. Let's continue on before I throw a tantrum that nobody wants to see.

* * *

Rule 63: Real Life Shooting Multiplayer games are to be done outside the house.

Dave: You guys don't even know how many times I had to repeat this rule. As fun as it sounds, take the shooting and killing and all that real life stuff outside.

Tom: But we never even broke anything in the house, dude.

Dave: Oh. So you mean to tell me that not a you guys are perfect shooters?

Tom: Yes.

Dave: *sarcastically* That's fantastic.

Tom: This mother-

Dave: Being a perfect shooter can definitely explain my killed off radio system, now can't it Tom?

Tom: Dave-

Dave: Being a perfect shooter can also explain- *hears gunshots* What the hell was that?!

*going to the living room, Dave see the TV destroyed from shotgun bullets and turns to see Alvin with a 12 Gauge*

Alvin: *seeing how mad Dave is* Theodore, quick, shoot me in the face!

*seeking an opportunity, Miles shoots Alvin in the back with a sniper rifle*

Miles: A pleasure to seek the opportunity.

Dave: You know I know where's he's gonna spawn at.

*not seeing any type of alternative, Miles wastes Dave with his sniper rifle*

Miles: Two for one. Oh yeah!

* * *

Rule 64: The Gimme $20 song is banned. Period.

Photon: Tom.

Tom: Yeah?

Photon: You might wanna prepare for haters because they are deeply in love with the $20 song.

Tom: Man, nothing's going to happen to me.

*Jeanette from a far distance shoots a grenade at Tom and Photon eliminating them both*

Jeanette: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BANNING THE $20 SONG, BITCH!

Tom: *unconsciously* That's only one person.

*Just when Tom is done respawning he gets killed again by a shotgun bullet from James Suggs*

Suggs: DIE YOU SHIT!

* * *

Rule 65: If James Suggs is seen around the house, eliminate him immediately.

Miles: Oh, you don't have to worry about that.

Alvin: Once he's in the house, he's a goner.

Simon: Does he even respawn?

Alvin: For a crooked cop, he should. Just not near where he was doing his objectives at.

Simon: Point taken.

* * *

Rule 66: Simon or Jeanette cannot use guided RPGs.

Simon/Jeanette: What? Why?!

Isiah:I think this example should answer that.

*Isiah, Tom, and Photon are watching TV when suddenly a rocket hits them*

Isiah: WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK!

Tom: Jesus!

Photon: Who did that?!

Simon: *rushes into the room* Oh my God, I am so sorry!

Tom: Don't you know how to use that thing?!

Isiah: Yeah, you almost killed us!

15 minutes later...

*Isiah, Tom, and Photon are watching TV again when another guided rocket hits them*

Isiah: Simon, I swear to God!

Jeanette: Sorry, that was me.

Isiah: *grunts*

* * *

Rule 67: Theodore's the only one who can have a teddy bear with him.

Isiah: C'mon guys, do we really gotta explain this rule? It's motherloving Theodore for crap sake.

Photon: Afraid so dude. Man, does Theodore get angry when someone takes his teddy bear.

*Theodore is watch TV while laying against his teddy bear when Brittany walks in on him*

Brittany: *obviously not amused* Teddy bears are so 20 years ago.

Theodore: *raising an eyebrow* What are you saying?

Brittany: This teddy bear isn't any good. Theo, allow me to get rid of this.

*being the stubborn Chipette she is, Brittany takes the teddy bear from Theodore's grasp*

Theodore: *straight up pissed* You. Took. My. Teddy bear.

*Theodore gets up, throws Brittany on the ground and belly flops on top of her crushing every part of her body*

Isiah\Tom\Photon\Alvin\Dave\Miles: DAMN!

Isiah: Holy crap, what in the hell did I just put in this set of rules?! XD.

* * *

Rule 68: Samantha cannot purchase anything online.

Dave: Last time she bought something online, it nearly cost me everything I had and what Isiah had put together.

Samantha: I told you I didn't spend that much.

Isiah: You bought a freaking car.

Samantha: And?

Isiah: It cost almost $500,000!

Samantha: That's nothing, sweetheart, you're always winning those car competitions!

Isiah: Yeah, but the rewards aren't even close to $100,000, babe!

Photon: Heh, you probably get like $1,000.

Isiah: *offensively* Now that is...true.

* * *

Rule 69: No one can touch Isiah's video games.

Isiah: Unless these two exceptions. One, unless you're Alvin or Miles and unless you washed your hands.

Photon: And keep the games away from Toby.

Isiah: Oh my God, thank you Photon! Keep my games away from Toby.

Toby: Why me?

Isiah: Toby, what happened three months ago? What did you borrow from me?

Toby: Grand Theft Auto 5 and Saints Row IV.

Isiah: And what did you do to them?

Toby: I scratched them on accident.

Isiah: You scratched them on accident. And have I seen these scratched games yet?

Toby: No.

Isiah: Okay. And as of right now, you do owe me money for those games. Correct?

Toby: Yes.

Isiah: And the money you owe in the hundred dollar range. Right?

Toby: Yes.

Isiah: Well there's your answer.

Simon: I don't mean to interrupt, 02, but what he owes you is nothing compared to what he owes Dave.

Isiah: Yeah, I'm aware of that. But let's talk about that later.

* * *

Rule 70: Don't you never. Ever. EVER! Let your girlfriend play video games by herself.

Photon: Poor Isiah let Samantha play 007: Agent Under Fire and a few other games and his reactions were not very good.

Alvin: Yeah, she freaking beat them in a heartbeat.

*Samantha is playing 007: Agent Under Fire when Isiah walks in on her*

Samantha: Hey, hun.

Isiah: Hey babe. How ya doing on that game?

Samantha: Oh, it was very easy. I beat it.

Isiah: Really? What was the final mission?

Samantha: Rescue the 8 world leaders and kill Nigel Bloch.

Isiah: What?! I haven't played that game since I was in middle school and you mean to tell me that killing Nigel Bloch was the last mission?! Are you for real?!

Samantha: Pretty much yeah. Why so argry all the sudden?

Isiah: It's that, I didn't know that killing Bloch was the last part of the game. And I've always died by it.

Samantha: Well-

Isiah: Just leave it.

2 and a half hours later...

*Isiah walks in to see Samantha playing Saints Row 4*

Isiah: What the hell are you doing?!

Samantha: Oh, I just completed Saints Row IV.

Isiah: *sigh* You know what, Sam? If you beat GTA in an hour, I will do it with you for a full month. No days off.

Samantha: Deal.

Dave: Let me guess. She beat GTA V in an hour.

Isiah: If I told you, you wouldn't believe it.

30 minutes later...(told you Dave.)

Isiah: Ahh, damn it, Sam! Damn you!

Samantha: Told you I'd do it.

Alvin: Wait, how can someone beat GTA V in 30 minutes? That game had to take at least an entire day.

Simon: It's probably best not to question.

* * *

 **Isiah: Well, there's another chapter down.**

 **Photon: Man, don't feel down.**

 **Tom: Yeah, Sam will probably forget all about the deal.**

 **Samantha: *from a different bedroom* Isiah, hurry up!**

 **Photon/Tom: We stand corrected.**

 **Isiah: Don't worry about it. Anyway, good readers we hope you've enjoyed this story. Again, Tom and I wanna thank PhotonDragon for being a special guest in this set of rules and helping with one of the rules as well.**

 **Tom: Don't forget to leave a nice review. No flames as always. If you haven't, check out our last update which was two chapters of Adventure in the Kingdom The Last Stand. Expect another special guest in the next chapter of this story. As always, we love you guys. Thanks for supporting us everyday. See y'all later. Holla at your boys!**

 **Isiah/Photon: Until next time.**

 **Isiah: *glaces at Photon* I'm saying though, why you gotta say the outro the same time I said it?**

 **Photon: What? We're all dudes here.**

 **Isiah: Yeah, you're right.**


	8. 71-80

**Quick Random Moment**

 ***Jeanette and the next special guest***

 **Jeanette: You may look like me, but I know you're just a fake.**

 **Special guest: Let's see which one of us is the fake then.**

 **Reference anyone? XD.**

* * *

 **Isiah: What up? Isiah and Tom here!**

 **Tom: What up?!**

 **Isiah: And welcome back to Isiah02's Rules to Survive! You guys are really loving this and I'm not gonna lie, I do have a couple haters out there. They're just not seen often.**

 **Tom: Yeah, haters love to hate one minute then play dead another minute.**

 **Isiah: For sure. But I ignore them. Here's what I do. I don't encourage the haters. I just let them say what they want and give a crap about what happens to them later. And you should do the same. Don't encourage the haters.**

 **Tom: Just let them say what they want and we'll deal with it later.**

 **Isiah: But anyway, with that being said, let's continue on with this set of rules. We have another special guest with us. Sky the Elf Owl.**

 **Sky: Hey guys, so good to be here with you two. And just so you know, I've been in the Seville household several times.**

 **Tom: Well let's see if you seen them like this.**

* * *

Rule 71: Trying to One Up someone is completely banned.

Sky: What's a One Up? Is that like giving someone an extra life like in the video games?

Isiah: Don't we wish. No, a one up is telling someone that you have something better than them and they try to do the same thing. It's a never ending cycle.

*Simon and Jeanette are in the living room*

Jeanette: So, how'd you do on the history test, Simon?.

Simon: I got a 96%.

Jeanette: Cool. I got a 99%.

*Simon slightly glares at Jeanette*

Simon: That's perfect.

Isiah: Deep down Simon wasn't going to forgive Jeanette for that day.

Sky: All thanks to a test grade.

Isiah: Pretty much.

* * *

Rule 72: Don't say "Really Theodore" when something goes wrong.

Sky: I'll be honest, boys. I've noticed the quick random moments when Theodore messed up and got blamed for it.

Tom: Yes, seriously when did Theodore become the trouble maker?

*Samantha is watching TV when Miles walks in*

Miles: Hey mom.

Samantha: Hi Miles.

*Just when Miles goes to sit down, he let's out a loud over dramatic sneeze*

Samantha: Really, Miles?!

Miles: What?

Samantha: Say it. Don't spray it.

Isiah: Um yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and continue on.

* * *

Rule 73: No giving out too much information.

Isiah: This one I was dying to put here for several reeasons I trust you guys will figure out yourselves.

*Eleanor is watching cartoons when Theodore lets out a relief sigh*

Theodore: Aww, I just let out a good ton of fart.

Eleanor: Theodore- Eww! *plugs her nose*

Theodore: What?

Eleanor: You just farted!

Isiah:... Yep. Moving on.

* * *

Rule 74: If you're looking for an epic fail, try lying to Dave.

Alvin: I raise my paw to be one of those people who tried lying to Dave.

Simon: You're the only person who tried lying to Dave.

Alvin: Oh shut up.

* * *

Rule 75: When the paparazzi are around us, don't scare them off.

Sky: What's so bad about scaring off the paparazzi?

Isiah: Yeah, I learned that the hard way.

*the Chipmunks and Chipettes are leaving a club when the paparazzi begin surrounding them*

Paparazzi: Smile for the camera!

Isiah: Why don't you smile for this, motherlovers! *pulls out a pistol and shoots it in the air*

Sky: You scared them off with a gun?

Isiah: Pretty much.

Dave: You were lucky we didn't get sued for anything.

Isiah: No you were lucky. XD.

* * *

Rule 76: If Tom or Toby is caught shot blocking, eliminate them.

Tom: C'mon bro!

Isiah: Dude you made me force my hand on this rule.

*Isiah and Samantha are watching a romantic movie*

Samantha: This movie is so romantic. *lays her head on Isiah's chest*

Isiah: *pets Sam's hair* It surely is.

Tom: *barges in looking like Max from Vampire in Brooklyn* I will kill you! Grrr!

*Samantha freaks out and jumps out thw window*

Isiah: Samantha!

Tom: Hahaha! That's what you get bitch!

Isiah: You motherlover! *pulls out SMG and wastes Tom*

* * *

Rule 77: Alongside with Rule 76, if you shot block Alvin and take it too far, expect him to wanna fight you.

Brittany: Oh my God, I remember what he did to that James Suggs dude.

Isiah: Right, but the fight will be in another story. But we'll show you what caused it.

*Alvin is setting up his game system whenhe looks to see his video games are missing*

Alvin: What the hell?! Where are all my games?! No Mortal Kombat? No Saints Row?! NO GRAND THEFT AUTO 5?!

Dave: *walks in* What's wrong with you?

Alvin: My games are missing!

Tom: *barges in the house* Yo, that James Suggs motherlover back!

Alvin: Grrr, I swear to God!

*Tom brings in the crooked cop with a bag*

Suggs: Hi.

Tom: *points a shotgun to Suggs' head* What's in the bag?

Dave: *points a micro SMG to the cop* Open it!

*slowly, James opens the bag revealing video games inside it*

Alvin: I had a feeling you had these! As if I didn't know!

Jeanette: A cop took your games. So what? You have them now sit down and chill the hell out.

Alvin: *quickly turns to Jeanette* YOU CHILL THE FUCK OUT JEANETTE! *turns back to Suggs* Me and you need to step out back.

Tom: Hey, it was just a misunderstanding.

Alvin: Uh uh, no it ain't. There ain't no misunderstanding! A crooked cop just admitted he stole from me! And if y'all are gonna take up for James in here, we could ALL be some fighting motherlovers in here! Bring your ass bro. C'mon.

*Alvin walks towards the back door*

Alvin: *from a distance* Bring your ass! C'mon you motherlover!

Suggs: You know, I had better things to do with my time. I'm not about to- *sees Dave's weapon*

Dave: Go, dude.

Suggs: Alright, fine.

Simon: Let's see what kinda fight this'll be like.

Isiah: For sure, I need to see this. Y'all coming?

Tom: Hell yeah!

Sky: I'm in!

*everyone but Sky leaves the room*

Sky: Oh, snap, Alvin and James Suggs about to fight! I've been waiting on this for a while!

Isiah: *from a distance* Sky, stop talking and bring your ass!

Sky: Alvin and that crooked cop are about to kill each other! They'll...um...- *pretends that her OC Mikey is with her* Oh wait, Mikey don't hold me! Let me see this! *continues talking until she is out the door*

Toby: *from the other room* Better watch it, Alvin, you're messing with a mental person.

*a few hours after the fight*(The fight will be in a different story)

*Isiah, Tom, and Sky comes back in the house*

Isiah: Damn, man. That was- *sees the unfinished rules* Oh shit! Yo, we forgot the last three rules in this set!

Sky: We can still finish them.

Isiah: You sure?

Sky: Yeah.

Tom: Shouldn't be a problem.

Isiah: Alright.

* * *

Rule 78: It's been...6 months since we've heard from Ian Hawke.

Alvin: Okay, why are you just telling us this?

Isiah: I'm just saying we haven't heard from him in a while.

Tom: I'm kinda surprised that he hasn't shown up yet.

Sky/Isiah: Tom!

Dave: Now he's gonna come at any second.

Tom: Man, no he won't.

*out of nowhere, Tom gets eliminated with a shotgun bullet*

Alvin: Who the hell was that?!

Ian: *from the window* Surprise motherlover! *leaves the window*

Alvin: Looks like Tom was proved wrong.

Sky\Isiah\Dave: Pretty much yeah.

* * *

Rule 78: No quoting the Greatest Freakout Ever videos.

Isiah: Exactly. Those videos by the homie Wafflepwn on YouTube.

Tom: Those videos are funny as hell.

Isiah: Yeah, but these motherlovers will quote it every chance they get.

*Samantha in a bedroom with a camera*

Samantha: Okay, my son's World of Warcraft account got deleted and he is flipping out. *sets camera on the dresser and leaves the room only to see Miles stomping into the room*

Miles: GET OUT MY ROOM!

*Miles slams the door and begins going crazy, losing complete control of himself*

Miles: I'M GONNA RUN AWAY! I'M GONNA RUN AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK! I SWEAR YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN!

*Alvin is playing an online game*

Alvin: Dude, freaking wow.

*in the game, he gets killed by his own teammate*

Alvin: Stop freaking betraying me, I'm on your team! Don't you know every time you kill me it says 'Betray' you retard! It takes off points from the freaking team.

*a few quick seconds later, Alvin gets killed again*

Alvin: STOP FREAKING BETRAYING ME!

*feeling irritated, Alvin takes action and betrays the guy who keeps killing him*

Alvin: How do you like that? Now I betrayed you.

*a few more seconds goea by before Alvin gets attacked by the same guy*

Alvin: Dude. Okay! *character gets killed* STOP! STOOOOOP!

*Just when Alvin respawns, he gets killed again*

Alvin: FREAKING STOP!

Isiah: XD.I'm moving on.

* * *

Rule 80: Whatever you do, DO NOT make a weird moment.

Tom: And people thought I was weird. Look at these examples.

*Isiah and Sky at a club*

*romantic music plays in the club*

Sky: Wow, it's beautiful tonight.

Isiah: I know. *hears music* Oh, snap. Yo, this song's romantic!

Sky: Yeah I know!

Isiah: Hey, why don't you come out to the dance floor and dance with me.

*losing her smile, Sky looks at Isiah weirdly*

*Dave and Samantha having a conversation*

Dave: Hey Sam.

Samantha: Yeah?

Dave: Feel this pillow.

*Samantha touches the pillow only to find it smooth*

Dave: Soft, right?

Samantha: Yeah, real soft.

Dave: Kinda feels like your son's ass, don't it.

*one look from Tom and he knew what was going to happen next*

* * *

 **Isiah: Are you freaking serious?!**

 **Tom: Afraid so.**

 **Dave: *from downstairs* It wasn't real, it was just a roleplay.**

 **Samantha: You're lucky I don't break your legs to go with your broken arm.**

 **Sky: Wow.**

 **Isiah: Yeah. I think I'm gonna end this set right here. Skyler, thank you for being a part of this set of rules.**

 **Sky: You're welcome. Thanks for having me.**

 **Isiah: Everyone, I don't know if I'm gonna have another guest with us in the next chapter. I think I'm gonna do the next couple with just me and Tom. If you haven't yet, check out the latest new fanfic called That's my Baby. Trust me, it's real funny. So check that out.**

 **Tom: Don't forget to leave a nice review. No flames as always. We hope you're enjoying these sets of rules. As for Adventure in the Kingdom: The Last Stand, that's gonna be updated soon. As always, we love you guys. Thanks for supporting us everyday. See y'all later. Holla at your boys! Yeah!**

 **Isiah: Until next time.**


End file.
